Wow! It was National Salt Awareness Week! January 29 – February 4, 2007
I had no idea. No one told me.
As many of you know, I live in Aspen, Colorado, a small but worldly and culturally sensitive town with a Main Street running through the town center, and above which there are always banners indicating all kinds of weeks to celebrate or sympathize with: National Family Week, National Environmental Education Week, National Volunteer Week. But no Salt Awareness Week.
Why not? Probably because of the inanity of the idea. Check this out:
Sponsored by CASH (Consensus Action on Salt and Health), the main theme for Salt Awareness Week “is the progress that has been made in terms of salt reduction…” Are you kidding? There’s been progress in terms of salt reduction? How does CASH explain, then, the exponentially growing number of happy friends and clients Salt Traders makes year after year?! How do they explain this year’s first annual International Salt Expo (more on that later) in Naples May 3-6? Last year, CASH’s all-but-captivating theme was “the issue of salt and its effect on ethnic groups who are particularly sensitive to the effects of salt. The focus was mainly on the African Caribbean population.” You’ve got to be kidding. Do me a favor, CASH… let me know when you study those populations, like the Japanese, who consume more sodium than any other, yet miraculously have incredibly low rates of heart disease. Who backs these idiots, anyway?
Well, CASH was awarded a grant from the Food Standards Agency “to investigate how effective a one-to-one advice session would be on reducing salt in the diet of African-Caribbean people.” Who is the Food Standards Agency? They’re an independent watchdog agency, about as brilliant as my own watchdog (the infamous Salty Dog), who tends to bark and carry on at the front door countless times a day. And each time I’m suckered into getting up from my desk to see who might be at the door.
Who’s at the door? About 90% of the time, absolutely f…ing no one! Just like when the equally brilliant watchdog, the Food Standards Agency, barks at the door of good people everywhere, warning them of the dangers of salt. About 10% of the time, there’s someone at the door for whom salt might actually be a concern. The remaining 90% of the time, there’s absolutely no one at the door for whom salt should be a concern.
Why? Ask any doctor worth his salt, and he’ll tell you that it’s about 10% of the American population for whom salt is bad. What about the rest of us, those 90% with real worries like the mortgage, sick kids, terrorism and stupid dogs? Well, our bodies expel any excess salt we might happen to consume in the course of thoroughly enjoying our meals. So, please, go back to worrying about the things that matter, and eat well.